My love of food is a complicated one. I was brought up in an Italian household. For those of you who don’t know that means we have food laid out on the table all day every day and theoretically times in between. I never thought much about what I was eating, I just knew it was delicious.
When I hit college my relationship with food changed. I developed a phobia: emetophobia (click the link and feel free to research and learn about a pretty common phobia that no one really talks about). My world went from not ever thinking about what I was eating to constantly fearing every bite I took would some how cause me to be ill. I began to avoid situations I truly enjoyed and knew I needed to seek help. After eight years working on loving this side of me and learning how to interact in social settings without letting this fear consume me I felt as if I was making progress.
I created this blog a few months ago in hopes for it to be a place to share recipes and possibly party planning ideas. I thought the name was clever a play off my insecurities with food. However before I could even start, my relationship with food changed again, in a way I didn’t expect.
I began to realize I didn’t always feel very well. It seemed as though there was always a rock in my stomach, or my bathroom habits weren’t as “normal” and happy go lucky as they should have been. With my phobia these feelings were only amplified. I was always worried these feelings must mean that I was about to be sick at any moment. Finally, I decided to reflect inward and realized this wasn’t normal, even with my phobia something was off. I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help my own sanity.
I decided to see a Functional Medicine doctor. In my own words Functional Medicine tries lifestyle changes to eliminate symptoms that other types of practices may have prescribed medication to relieve. They want to eliminate the issue not just treat it.
Through the guidance of my doctor and lovely tests…lovely should probably be read with a sarcastic tone…which I will describe in a later post I was diagnosed with “leaky gut“. What’s the best way to heal a leaky gut? An elimination diet. Now not only was my relationship with food strained due to my phobia, but it would further be put under a microscope in order to hopefully remedy these digestive symptoms I’d been having.
That’s what brings me here. I wanted to share my experiences with you as a reader. Hopefully if some of the things you read about here ring true for you it can encourage you to feel empowered to embark on your own gut healing journey. You’ll find honest (not always glamorous) thoughts, experiences, and recipes throughout these pages.
Hopefully through this outlet my relationship with food can change again, this time for the better.